Sometimes I laugh so hard I hyperventolate. Then I pass out. During that time when I'm unconcious, I cause irreversable brain damage.
I was born on December 11, 1982 in Van Nuys Ca. The rest of my tale is purely lies.
My father was a mystic Gypsy from Kowloon and my mother was the widowed wife of an unmarried goat herder in Albania. They consumated their relationship under the tree where Buddah meditated and called the animals to his circle. After this my sister was born. They then went their seperate ways before meeting again on top the ancient ruins of Gammorah where they once again consumated their relationship (this time under a polmegranite tree next to the nile river.). I was born of this and given the name of "Running Maid through the Foyeh".
This didn't slide with the port authority of Ellis Island when my parents immigrated here in 1913. I was given the American name of Kevin, but because of my parents extreme poverty, they could not afford to pay for 5 letters on my birth certificate and thus my name was changed to Evan.
My father went off to fight in the great war with Quebec in the 1970's and my mom was forced to raise me on her own. It was during this time that I began my interest in pyrotechnics. Since giving children high powered explosives was frowned upon in this time, the conservative 1950's, she replaced my M80's with crayons and art supplies.
During the great weed drought on 1993, I found myself slanging my artwork to pay the bills. My sister went off to Africa to teach about the book of Mormon to the natives errupting the conflict in Darfur 10 years later. As the drought came to an end and a steady supply of dangerous hallucingens again poured freely in to the nation, I became a full time artist and part time sales man of Frozen fruit beverages.
I moved out after attending college and majoring in "Finnish Forklores and Polar Bear Dentistry" from the local community college. Today I continue to do art in the same fashion as my ancestors, the ancient people of Rand McNally. A small nation in the atlantic ocean west of the Ivory coast and south of the carribean.