Also Available At:

After going over the latest Bi-Annual Goomba Affairs Report, I feel it necessary to summarize the current state of Inter-Goomba relations for everyone without clearance to view the actual publication. This startling document shows how apparent the lack of Goomba/ Paragoomba civility really is. You may or may not be aware, but those tensions have been mounting ever since the first plumber came to the mushroom kingdom to find and save the Princess.

Forced to always look forward, and only walk side-to-side was a constant frustration to the Goombas, and became the foundation for all of their future complaints. Usually restricted to very small sections of the land, they were bored to tears and unable to leave their posts to eat, sleep, socialize or even . . . well let’s face it, everybody poops! With so many things to gripe about, but their protests going unheard -- they set their sites on what has now become the basis for their hatred of the Paragoombas.

Paragoombas as you know are just Goombas with wings. Perhaps jealousy was the seed of the initial grumblings of the Goomba. With their wings, the Paragoombas could move freely through the land, without anyone supervising their comings and goings. They had a freedom that the Goomba had never experienced, but wanted so badly they could taste it.

It began with minor name calling, and taunting whenever a Paragoomba would be knocked to the ground by one of the plumbers. “Not so high-n-mighty now, are yah!?” the Goombas would mock. Sure, for a while it was all fun and games, but when the name calling became Paragoombacist slurs, and instead of mocking the fallen Paragoombas they were hurling Anti-Fungalikov Cocktails, the war had begun. Believe it or not, it has only been getting worse ever since.