You have heard stories on the news, internet or just street gossip, stories about obsessed people who just cant get the hint, people who keep watching your every move. Yes, i'm talking about stalkers. In our modern day and age people can't hide from their feelings and sometimes go over-the-top with them. Well after such a serious introduction you'd expect some shocking news, well for some of you, it will be. Have your parents ever told you about a fat bearded man who knows when you're asleep or are awake, who knows all the bad or good thing's you've done? The person who supposedly brings "gifts and joy" every year, in his red suit and his many reindeers. Yes, i'm talking about non other than ol'Saint Nick. Just think about it, most of the other stalkers are put to justice or at least thought down upon, yet we celebrate his round trips with glee and happiness, but all he does all year is sit behind his leather chair, while watching innocent little children with his extra dry skin lotion and probably a bag of cheetos. The sweaty bastard even sits in malls getting a boner from children that sit on his lap. We should take immediate action and prepare a mass invasion on the North Pole. We should brain every mall Santa there is and tell the truth to our children, there should be no lies about the Red Terror. And while you're at it don't forget to tell them that the wrinkled chocolate eggs are not Easter Eggs, rather they're not eggs at all. Santa should be put to justice and we should sentence him to death by electric chair or just cap the damn bastard. P.S. Don't forget to poison the milk and cookies.